The Beauty Within

you don't know what i'm goin' through

2008-10-06T04:02:00.000-07:00

it's not the effort that makes the girl smile. it's the willingness of the guy to do those crazy efforts just to make

i got to voice my side. this one's for you.

gino was the first one to text me. it just happened that i'm subscribing to unlitxt20 that time. so i replied. for about a month, no one dared ask me how i was. he was the only person to ask. he's my friend. i treat him just like how you treat your other girl friends. and i don't question your for treating them that way even though i'm darn jealous. and don't make me tell you those crapping moments.

you're asking why i haven't even replied when you broke up with me. i don't want to break up with you. but how can i tell that when i know what you're feeling? i know you're hurt. we both are. i can't stop you from leaving. i thought, maybe, you already weighed the situations, you already gave up and that you're hurting so much. i attempted, 3 times. but everytime i push those buttons and tell you how i feel... i end up crying. so i stopped. i can't say anything up to now. can't believe you did that to me again. you promised not to. i held on to that, hoping you would come back to me. i still believe, up to now, that you will never break that promise. your promise of loving me forever.

of course our separation ISN'T important. distance means nothing when i love you THIS much.

hindi pa ako nakakapag-move on. maybe after infinity + 1? maybe after a lifetime. maybe after my last breath is gone. maybe when i'm dead. i'll show people that i'm ok. but silence hurts more. it's already a week since you last sent me that crapping text meassage (why not tell it to me personally?). i've been living this hell after that. i want to be happy just like you. but no matter what i do, i can't. can you teach me how to?

this is he things: i don't expect anything from you since you broke up with me. i'm loving gab manahan without anything in return. i'm not asking you to. i'll just give you a hard time. you're not less than a friend. you're way more than a husband to me. remember our wedding last oct. 16, 2007? in the bulacan church? you are very important to me. so important that i think of your own happiness. so important that i learned how to let go. so important because i love you (don't claim that i don't because you don't know what i feel). love makes people stupid. maybe because i believe that when you love a person, you're loving insanity yourself. and i found the right man for me.

i'll still love after a million years.

this was my attempted text message: siguro napag-isipan mo na yan ng mabuti. siguro nakapag-desisyon ka na nga talaga. siguro nahihirapan ka na nga talaga. siguro kaya mo to ginagawa kasi mahal mo ko. naiintindihan kita. nararamdaman ko na din na nahihirapan ka at alam mong ayaw ko un. alam kong you're taking the risk na magagalit ako but no. hindi ako galit. kung yan ung palagay mong makakabuti at tingin mo, mas mabubuhay tayo ng maayos, hindi kita pipigilan. hindi na kita hahabulin. alam kong hindi mo na ako kaya. pero sana alalahanin mo lahat ng memories natin. i-celebrate mo lahat ng monthsary hangga't naaalala mo pa. isipin mong ung mga problema at tampuhang yan ung nagpatatag satin. sana, wag mong kakalimutan mahal na mahal kita. :'( hindi ko kayang ngumiti pero susubukan ko. siguro wala na nga talaga. you can go now. you're free. i love you. *last na hug na mahigpit*

strawberry-cream-frapp

2008-10-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

"loving a person doesn't need a criteria kasi once you fall in-love, you take the risk of accepting that person. you don't need to find answers kung bakit mo siya mahal, kasi lahat nagbabago. but if you accept that person, magbago man siya in the middle of the relationship, di ka masasaktan kasi tanggap mo siya ng buo. mahirap gawin pero masarap subukan. dahil wala nang sasaya pa if you let that one person feel na mahal na mahal mo siya without asking for anything in return. then you can say, wow, yun pala ang LOVE."

i just made this layout. dapat talaga para to sa bago kong blog eh. kaya lang pwet talaga. bago ata ung blogger dun kaya pinupuna ung minor mistakes na di ko naman makita kung asan. naka-credits naman ung mga pinagkuhanan at basecodes.

gino: ok ka lang?

eka: hindi ko alam eh. ok lang ako pero deep down, alam kong hindi.

gino: move on erika.

eka: tinatry ko mag-move-on pero hindi ko alam. hindi ko kaya.

yan ung pag-uusap namin ni gino nung saturday, bago masira ung phone ko. err. ang hirap naman harapin nung reality na wala na kami. na we tried but nothing happened. gah, i felt like it was the end of the world. but oh no, it isn't.

just yesterday, i got a haircut. an ultimate haircut. nagpa-buntot din ako. tinry ko lang. eh ang cute. ka-buhok ko na tuloy si hanibanj. hehe. basta. di ko pa ma-braid tail ko. tawag ko nga sa kanya hellboy eh :) kasi diba may buntot si hellboy na ang cute.

eto nanaman. ayoko nang maalala ung mga nangyari. as much as possible i don't wanna live in the past. siguro i'll go for the present and i won't think about much of the future. i'll live life to the fullest :)

the 15th monthsary

2008-10-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

"no quote just now. phone is broken."

happy 15th.

memories :(

2008-10-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

"always remember that if a person loved you once, even after a hundred years, there will still be some of that love left... no matter the person denies it"

things happen for a reason. depression is more likely.

i can't hear my heart anymore. i can't feel it beating and giving life to me. it stopped beating after reading that one dreadful text message from him. i didn't even feel it. numbness enveloped me. now, i can't feel anything. i just know, deep down those gushing blood and that butterfly inside me that he still makes my heart flutter.

:( do i have to do this?

advanced happy 15th monthsary

2008-10-03T02:18:00.000-07:00

people get sentimental because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does.

kahit wala na, kahit magkaibigan nalang at kahit hindi na natin kaya... eto ako. magse-celebrate ako kahit anong mangyari. hindi kita igi-greet pero iche-cherish ko tong araw na to.

happy 15th monthsary [october 4, 2008]

dumadami na ang mga EMO sa mundo

2008-09-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

"destiny is something we've invented because we an't stand the fact that everything that happens is the result of our choice."

pramis. ang dami na talagang emo. lahat nga naman ay may iniibig. pero hindi lahat nare-reciprocate. unrequited kung baga. aray. ang sakit. err. kailangan ko tong i-blog ngayon din dahil di ko na talaga matiis. isa sa mga kaibigan ko, si raaza [codename] ay lubusan na talagang nasasaktan. nung una, hindi talaga ako makapaniwala. grabe. si a* pa. pwet. nalulungkot talaga ako.

eto ang kwento: pumunta kami nila a*, g** at raaza sa may dance room para puntahan si l*** at tanungin kung sasabay siya papuntang training ng swimming. nakita namin sina yabang at danger dun sa loob. pagkabalik namin sa old building para tumambay. nagulat kami na ummiiyak na si raaza. nalungkot ako kasi di ko talaga akalaing iiyak siya sa ganun. madami talagang nasasawi sa hamak na selos. nakakamatay talaga pramis.

kay a* naman: etong isang teammate kasi, e finifling etong si tidiburr. e mahal nitong si a* si tidiburr. kaya pwet talaga nung nalaman. umiyak tuloy siya :(

ngayon, mas naintindihan ko siya. kung bakit niya pinipilit na tanggalin tong nararamdaman niya na to [raaza] :( nalulungkot ako. ngayon ko lang narealize na napakasama ng mundo. masarap magmahal, pero masakit.

ayokong nakikitang malungkot ang mga kaibigan ko. lalo tuloy akong napapaisip. ngayon ko nalalaman kung gaano kasakit at nakakapagpa-baliw ang magmahal.

i'm with you

2008-09-10T04:55:00.000-07:00

"being defeated is often only a temporary condition. giving up is what makes it permanent."

dearest damdam, totoo lahat ng tinext ko kanina sa'yo. i'm always right behind you. it's up to you if you like me to be walking side by side with you again. but i would surely love to. you know that. aminin, deep down, alam mong love padin kita. ramdam mo padin. basta. "your smile makes me see clearly". gustong-gusto kong bumalik ung dating eka at gab. ung makulit na pair, ung tawa ng tawa, ung sweet na sweet na halos puntahan na ng bubuyog sa tamis. september na. naaalala ko pa lahat ng memories natin.

september memories? ung sabay tayong umuwi sakay ng jeep. gabi na nun kasi 5:30pm labasan natin. ung october 16 na hindi ko makalimutan. kasi lahat un, firsts natin. ung december 4, monthsary natin, nag-away tayo then pumunta ka sa bahay. ung december 5 na sinundo mo ko sa gym at nagpuntang school. :) ung december 17 o 18 ba un? ung first christmas party together natin sa mcdo. ang saya alalahanin lahat un as months go by.

sadly, di na kita kasama ngayon kahit na gusto ko. gusto ko kasing i-anniversary din lahat ng memories namin. habang inaalala ko, nakakaiyak pero nakakapagpa-smile din sakin. ang sarap niyang kasama. at wala pang hihigit sa feeling na parang langit ng heaven ng paraiso :)

oo nga pala. sa september 22: outreach and swimming with batch 2010 :) at the same time, anniversary pa [kuno] nila aj at gino. magce-celebrate daw kami eh. surely naman yan :)

cge. nadala na ako masyado.

let me love you

2008-09-09T04:59:00.000-07:00

"it's just this simple: be with someone who knows what they have when they have you"

hmm. ano bang ginawa ko ngayong araw? let's see.

english: nagdiscuss kami. at nag-recite ako. ordinary english class.

chem: nag-quiz. mejo accurate naman ung mga sagot ko. sabi kasi ni mang pearl tama naman daw. tapos solving at discussion.

algeb: nagalit nanaman si mam ethel samin. ang ingay kasi talaga. nakakarindi. nag-quiz uli kami at palagay ko naman, am, pasado ako. yoko umasa kasi baka ma-disappoint lang ako sa huli.

social: nag-discuss at nag-quiz. 7/10 lang ata ako eh.

guidance: gumawa ako nung paper or drawing na nagpapakita how i see myself 20 years from now. after 10 years daw kasi, ime-mail pabalik un sayo. dinrowing ko ung sarili ko as a doctor. tapos may bubble na may house and a family. meron ding sariling bar, clinic at building. gusto kong MAGPAYAMAN!

journ: maghapon kong tinitigan ang bookmark ko. twing may time lang at pag di siya nakatingin. nag-smile siya ng madaming beses. at na-iinlove talaga ako. ang ganda-ganda talaga ng ngiti niya. naaalala ko ang grade 7 memories. pero WAIT! bandang huling part ng journ, nabadtrip ako ng sobra. SELOS NA SELOS TALAGA AKO AMPNESS. PWET TALAGA PWET. ayoko na maalala. baka kumulo lan uli dugo ko eh.

kaya let me love you ang title, kasi love ko padin bookmark ko kahit na war kami ngayon. ako naman kasi ang galit. di ko pa din mapigilan sarili ko na hindi magalit sa kanya. ano bang magagawa ko? e mahal ko ung tao. hirap talaga pag ganun eh. umaasa ka ng sobra sobra. unrequited pala. pfft. drama. basta. let me love you.

1 year and 2 months

2008-09-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

"are we hurt because we can't tell the person we love what we reeally feel? or are we hurt because at the back of our minds, we know that telling the person we love what we really feel won't make any difference?"

14 months na kaming nagmamahalan. nag-celebrate ako mag-isa. happy 14th monthsary mine && damdam :'3

so much for my happy ending

2008-08-29T21:36:00.000-07:00

"one fact: you start to hurt, the moment you begin to care."

wala lang. matagal tagal na din akong hindi nakakapag-sulat dito. namiss ko to. sa isang buwan na to... madaming nangyare. pero di ko na iku-kwento. what's the difference ba?

anyway. 3rd place kami sa alternatibong sayaw. at [wtf] 4th place sa rampa. tulala kami ni gel eh. unexpected uber. kala namin third or second. badtrip talaga. di kami nakapag-salita eh. pfft.

wla lang. ewan ko bang talaga. di ko malaman ang gagawin ko.

cge.cge

pwet

2008-08-13T01:45:00.000-07:00

ang hirap ng project. pwet talaga.

pray for my little bro. na-confine kasi xa eh :(

2nd post this day

2008-08-08T01:08:00.001-07:00

if your friend is too frank that what he/she says hurts you, don't get mad... coz donkey once told shrek: "only true friends can be cruelly honest".

dahil walang magawa, sinagutan ko din ung surbey nila aly at dindi. natuwa ako eh :) basta. badtrip pa din ako ng mejo.

coca-cola or pepsi? Coca cola

mcdo or burger king? mcdo

no tv or no music? No music

salty or sweet? sweeeeeet

Movies at home or in theaters? In theater para feel na feel diba?

Hugs or kisses? hugs

fame or fortune? fortune

true love or wealth? True lab

diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. Girls’ best friends eh

silver or gold? Silver. Para silverworks, sponsor eh.

brains or beauty? brains pwet

camera on phone or text messaging? Camera on phone. Yoko magteks.

celeb magazine or newspaper? Celeb magazine

apple or orange? apple

polka dots or stripes? Stripes. Ganda ng epek eh.

would you like...

to be famous? Yoko. Pero why not?

to be rich? Oo naman, matagal ko nang pangarap un

to live somewhere else? Ok lang.

To be in a relationship? Currently into one

foods. do you like...

chicken? sige

broccoli? oo

pork? Oo pero nakakataba

hot dogs? Oo naman

hamburgers? Oo talaga

doritos? Ano daw?

pretzels? Sarap. Oo.

chocolate? Wah oo talaga talaga

cap'n crunch? Ano daw ule?

french fries? Yup :D

peanut butter? Yup yup yup

odd questions.

last word you spoke to your science teacher? Papirma, sa “mam, papirma.”

last time you walked outside? Mga 6:30pm

a past pet's name? jumbo. Aso naming maliit pero laki ng tyan. Ang cute.

ever been to wyoming? San daw?

when's the last time you went to kfc? Nung july 12, 08. game ng uaap. Nag take out kame.

is your voice deep? Minsan pero hindi eh.

are you wearing make-up? Di ah.

ever had a winter coat with fur on the hood? Hindi pa

how long have you lived in the house you are in now? Since 2 years old

look left. what do you see? Screen door

look right. what do you see? Screen door ule.

turn around. do you see a picture frame? Wala eh

is the television on? Nope. Kanina bukas. Kapapatay lang

what is the color of your bedroom walls? Pink

okay. about you..finally.

your name is? eka

your age is? 15

your hair color is? Black na may brown. Bale brown na

one word to describe your personality? Amm. Unpredictable :D naks.

o diba? trip na trip sumagot eh noh? o basta. hehe.

random jists

2008-08-07T20:04:00.000-07:00

one thing you can't recycle is wasted time. life is too short, live your life well. let's stop worrying over what-ifs. be with the people you want to be with, do the thing you're eager to do, after all, it's only you who'll decide of how your life will turn out... happy and contented or rigid and incomplete.

andito ko sa lib. nag-iinternet. namimiss bookmark ko. kasi ayaw niya ko kausapin kapag masama loob niya saken :( wala lang. training na naman siya. palage naman eh. wala akong magagawa. pero kasiyahan niya yun? anong karapatan kong pigilan siya?

a basta. akin lang siya. wala akong pakealam sa mga kaibigan niya. err. }:(

13th monthsary

2008-08-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

ang saya saya. dalawang beses kaming nagyakap. nag-eexpect talaga ako ng ganun pero syempre ang saya talaga kasi natupad. nagkabalikan na din kami. salamat talaga ng madami kay papa God. utang ko lahat ng to sa Kanya.

happy happy happy 13th monthsary mahal

gabby,[irog ko] hindi ko makakalimutan tong monthsary na to. pangako, hindi na ako aalis sa tabi kahit anong mangyari. magkasama tayo sa lungkot at saya. hindi kita ipagpapalit kahit kanino at ikaw na ang gusto kong makasama habangbuhay. wag ka na ring aalis. mahal na mahal kita.

a twist in my story

2008-07-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

jusko. nasa labrary ako ngayon at nag-iinternet. o diba? wala lang. happy 15th birthday alud! kasi p.e. namin kaya lang may sakit ako kaya hindi ako nag-PE. wala tuloy kaming magawa. err. nga pala. miss na miss ko na irog ko. bad girl kasi ako. pfft. basta...

ngayon ko lang nakita na 3348 ang laman ng inbox ko sa yahoo. mahigit ilang buwan ko tong di nacheck. may mga bookmark update pa sa friendster. syempre kilala nyo na ung bookmark ko agad.

ang desperate ko na talaga. pinagtatanong ko sa madla kung kamusta na ang bookmark ko. kasi, nagaalala ako talaga ng sobra. sana lang di nya malamang may sakit ako.

err. :( *sad*

you are my sweetest downfall

2008-07-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

"when you truly love someone, you're going to fight for what you believe is right, it doesn't matter if the world told you it's wrong, coz if you really love each other, you don't need the world... you just need each other.

nung tuesday, july 1st, may ginawa ako. binilang ko ung days na nagkasama kami. 359 days na pala kami. sayang hindi kami nag one year. dahil sa ka-emohan ko nung tuesday, kumuha ako ng dalawang gunting at tinry magsugat. pero wa-epek. pwet no? ang pupurol kasi.

nagtataka din ako kung bakit nung umaga, may chest pains ako. at kapag humihinga, sumasakit talaga. kaya hindi ako makahinga. err. may sakit ba ako sa puso? literal ha. hindi lovenat.

advanced happy anniversary mahal! :3

song playing: a twist in my story by secondhand serenade

mukha akong tanga kanina. tinatanong ko si aj at si gino kung gano sila katagal nagmove-on. sabi ni aj, "mga 3 months kasi ganun din naman kami katagal eh." sabi ko naman, "hala, edi 11 months din ako bago magmove-on? err." haay. sana nga 11 months lang.

galit siya saken. hindi daw niya ako mapapatawad. ayokong magcelebrate ng birthday :'''(

it'll all get better in time

2008-06-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

why do we say "i'm ok" whenever we get hurt? is it because we're brave enough to handle the pain? or is it because it's our way of pretending we're fine even though we're totally broken?

gusto ko lang naman maging maayos. ok lang sakin lahat eh. wala akong pakealam kung masaktan ako. tinatry ko ung best ko para i-comfort ka. anong nangyayari? hindi mo naaappreciate? o ayaw mong tanggapin. ako na nga tong naghahabol :'( kung ayaw mo... sabihin mo ng deretso. magalit ka. lahat na. para lang makita mong nagsisisi ako. asan nanaman ba to papunta? pagod na ako. mas mabuti pang kasama mo yang teammates mo at naglalaro ng basketball. para kahit sandali, makalumutan mong may eka sa buhay mo.

masakit pala talaga magmahal. ewan ko ba. hindi ko siya maiwan o matiis kahit anong mangyari. ok lang, at least marunong ako magmahal at may minamahal ako.

naiisip ko parin lahat ng nangyari dati. bleeding padin. masakit padin. pero walang nagbago sa pagmamahal ko. bakt ba kasi kelangan pa ng atmpuhan at away? sino ba kasing nag-imbento nun?

happy 15th birthday baby

2008-06-17T05:24:00.000-07:00

"sometimes i just wanna quit when things start hurting me. i wanna leave everything as it is before the pain gets worse. but once i remember how much i've prayed, how much i really wanted it and why i was fighting in the first place, hope comes back into my heart and thinks, maybe it's worth going this far."

happy 15th monthsary gabriel manahan. hindi ko kasi alam kung papano ka babatiin bukas. hindi ko alam kung talagang wala na tayong dalawa. hindi ko alam kung ganon pa ba kalalim pagtingin mo sa kin. kung gusto mo pa ba akong makasama ngayong birthday mo. ako kasi, gustong-gusto ko.

sorry kanina kung hindi tayo nakapag-usap nung lunch. nasa avr ka daw kasi. tapos nung journ, sorry din. gusto ko talagang patago ibigay un pero nakita na kita. kakahiya naman kung mahuli mo ko. yun. nung uwian, sorry din. hindi kasi tayo nagkasabay kahit gusto ko nanaman. wala kasi akong lakas ng loob lumapit sayo. parang ang kapal naman kasi ng muka ko pag ganon. basta sorry.

gusto ko din sana ako kasama sa very special day mo. at centennial parade pa. *selfish* a basta. sana.

sus. puro sana lang naman ako. pwet. pfft.

happy happy happy 15th birthday mahal!

happy 10th monthsary baby :3

2008-05-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

kung cactus ka man... handa kong masaktan, mayakap ka lang."

10th monthsary na namen ng baby ko. yep. going stronger talaga. tuloy-tuloy na to. marami na kaming mga problemang nadaanan at sa tulong ng matatag na faith namen kay papa God, buo parin naming nalalagpasan lahat. pero alam kong may mga mas matitindi pang pagsubok na dadating at gagawin namin ang best namin para maging mas matatag pa. :3

i love you so much mahal! happy monthsary!

if you give up, then i give up.

2008-05-02T04:15:00.000-07:00

"you shouldn't only accept me for what i am, you should also accept me for what i'm not."

sana hindi siya pumunta dito kasi magdadrama nanaman ako.

nagpromise ako na hindi na ako iiyak. sa far, nafufulfill naman. sana. sawang-sawa na ako sa paghingi ng ssorry sa lahat ng taong nasaktan ko. ayoko nang magkamali pa. mahirap itago ang nararamdaman pero kung nasanay ka na, chicken nalang un. madami na akong natutunan sa 10 months na magkasama kami. madami na akong na-realize. madami nang nangyari. madami nang sitwasyong nagpabagsak sameng dalawa. kaya lang ngayon, handa na kong tanggapin lahat. ayokong sumuko kaya lang pilit na sinasabi ng katawan at ng utak ko na hindi ko na kaya.

puwede namang salubuning ko nalang ulit siya ng sorry kaninang umaga. puwede namang lambingin ko siya kaya lang, pinanghinaan ako ng loob. pinaasa ko siyang naniniwala na kong napapasaya at napapatahan ko siya. bakit kagabe, hindi ko nagawa? bakit ganun? gabi gabi nalang umiiyak siya ng dahil saken. minsan, gustong-gusto kong ibaba ung telepono, tapusin na ung mga paghihirap niya kaya lang hindi ko parin magawa. hindi ko padin kayang iwan siya ng basta basta nalang. kung alam ko lang lahat ng mangyayari, sana hindi ko nalang siya pinatawag.

sanay na akong palaging sinisisi. sanay na kong palaging may kasalanan. hindi na bago saken lahat ng nangyayari.

blogthings are very... mm?

2008-04-18T00:48:00.000-07:00

got thes from: blogthings

what kind of punctuation mark am i?

You Are a Semi-Colon

You are elegant, understated, and subtle in your communication.

You're very smart (and you know it), but you don't often showcase your brilliance.

Instead, you carefully construct your arguments, ideas, and theories â€“ until they are bulletproof.

You see your words as an expression of yourself, and you are careful not to waste them.

You friends see you as enlightened, logical, and shrewd.

(But what you're saying often goes right over their heads.)

You excel in: The Arts

You get along best with: The Colon

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

what is my russian name?

Your Russian Name Is...

Khristyna Anechka Kuznetsov

What's Your Russian Name?

what kind of sundae am i?

You Are a Cookie-Browine-Sundae

Totally sweet, delicious, and comforting.

You are a total glutton for... everything!

What Kind of Sundae Are You?

ang sarap magsurf. haha. pero may namimiss nanaman aki jan :)

doodle? sure!

2008-04-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

Cool Graphics
wala lang. wala talaga akong magawa eh. doodle nalang kung pwede. err. di ko talaga alam gagawin ko. si gabby ay kasalukuyang may game ng basketball sa Xavier at baka mamaya pa kami magkausap pagtapos ng game. sana manalo sila! go team!

Cool Graphics
wah! ang cute cute! can't get enough of naruto!!! kailangan ko tong mailagay sa side bar ko.

adieu!

2008-04-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

ang galing nito. nakuha ko dito. wala lang. natuwa ako. napadpad kasi ako sa page ni ate ava. binasa ko ung description sa cancerian woman tapos natuwa ako kasi talagang tugma. eto:

The CANCER Woman

...Echoes fade and memories die:

Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise, Alice moving under skies Never seen by waking eyes.

There's so doubt about it. In the beginning, you'll have trouble deciding if your Cancerian girl is a gentle moon maiden or a wild loony-bird. In the end, you still won't know.

During the rainy season, she'll drown you in her sorrows. When the sun peeks through the clouds again, she'll double you up with laughter, and touch you with tenderness. Experiencing her moods is like watching one of those old-time silent movies where hysterical slapstick humor comes on just before the Perils of Pauline thriller, and the entire show is backed by the tiny piano in the pit. Sometimes the tune is lively and gay; then it gets melancholy and blue. The music is variable, to suit the occasion, never stagnant or monotonous. So it is with the Cancer girl. She's just a little mad, slightly sad and superbly imaginative. She also knows how to save the shekels.

Naturally, you can't look under her mattress until after you've married her. Modesty is a thing with her. But you can safely make a bet she probably has an old sock there, stuffed with green bills and silver coins. She may have an extravagant ascendant or Moon sign, but even so, she'll have a quarter or two stuck under the potted azalea, or salted away in the folds of that lace tablecloth she got for her birthday ten years ago and still hasn't ever used. Open one of her books of poetry, and a wrinkled dollar bill may fall out, blinking at the light of day. A Cancer female can go on a sudden spending spree when she's been hurt and needs balm for her injured ego, but most of the time her outgo will lag considerably behind her income. Your savings account may be of unusual interest to her, and money may be one of her favorite topics of conversation. She won't look down on you if you don't have it, so long as you're the kind of man who tries to get it. She'll help you make it and save it, but you're on your own when it comes to wasting it. Don't go too far, or she'll see your mutual security slipping away. When you give this girl a terribly expensive gift, and she says, "You shouldn't have done it," let me tell you, she means it.

To take her mind off insurance, mortgages, rent, bills and her Christmas club balance at the bank, bundle her off to the seashore at midnight for a walk in the moonlight. That's when shell be at her best. The Moon will pull out all her secret dreams, and the nearness of the water may loosen her four hundred and three inhibitions. You're liable to see her whole range of emotions in the space of an hour. Then you can choose the one you like the best and encourage her to cultivate it. A strange transformation will take place when you get the typical Cancerian girl alone on a beach under a full Moon. That cool and reserved lady you see in the daytime, or even the giggly, outrageous flirt you notice on an occasional evening in a restaurant or theater, will suddenly become a creature from another world when the magnetic rays of the Moon shine in her eyes and the compelling sound of the surf fills her ears. She'll turn into a sea nymph, who can soar with you as far as your imagination can reach. It will work nine times out of ten, and the tenth time you probably picked a new Moon. That won't accomplish the same purpose. She'll be shy and sweet when the Moon is waning but what you really want is a Moon that's full enough to arouse all her latent talents. Under its spell, at the right time in her personal ebb and flow of emotions, she can write a poem, compose a song or tear the veil off mysteries the philoso¡©phers have pondered for centuries. Naturally, she makes an interesting conversationalist at these times. To say the very least.

You should know that there are two distinctive approaches when a Cancerian female is in love with you. The first is gentle and womanly, shy, modest and pleasantly trembly. The second is rather sticky. This last type will use every trick of Eve to sit as close as possible to you in the booth. It can be very exciting, of course, if you really care for her. But if you're just being friendly, and she deliberately squeezes your hand or busses you on the cheek just as the girl you found at the end of the rainbow walks by, the game may lose some of its flavor. You can go along with the gag, but I know one man who did, and the other girl, who was for real and didn't play games, kept on walking. He was left with a clinging crab with a fit of the giggles. This kind of Cancerian woman can be a real threat to true love and happy homes. Fortunately, she is in the minority. Still, even one can cause a lot of trouble.

As you know from the other Sun signs, few women are perfect. The Aries girl is always running around hailing her own taxis and butting her head against brick walls, the Sagittarius girl is shockingly outspoken, the Scorpio girl can frighten you, Gemini can be fickle, Leo too proud- and so on. Cancer women ordinarily have none of these faults.

Nevertheless, there are some "don'ts" to remember with her. She hates to be criticized, she is deeply wounded by ridicule, and she just can't stand being rejected. One, two, three. They're basics. Seldom openly aggressive, the typical Cancerian hesitates. You'll have to make the first move. If she moves anywhere at all, it will be backwards or sideways. With her basically shy nature and fear that she won't be accepted, she echoes the male of the Sun sign. I know of a Cancer woman and a Cancer man who, for seven hours, sat close to each other one night in her apartment, under the pretense of looking at magazines. While their pulses pounded silently, they went through a stack of back issues, the morning and evening papers, and worked a few crossword puzzles. Neither crab, you see, wanted to make the first move.

Be kind to her mother, or she'll never forgive you. Mother is a lady she won't like to see abused. The Cancer girl's sense of humor doesn't react favorably to mother-in-law jokes. And never read her five-year-diary. It probably has a lock and key, anyway. Cancerians like to keep secrets. They're not much for true confessions, unless you're the one doing the confessing.

The fears of your lunar lovely can really hang you up, along with her. She's afraid she isn't pretty enough, she isn't smart enough, she isn't young enough or she isn't old enough. It makes no difference if she has a figure like Venus de Milo, a face like Helen of Troy and a mind like Aristotle: she'll still feel inadequate. Assure her that she's young, she's lovely, she's engaged, and she has you. About twenty times a day should begin to make a dent. Her moods will change on the average of four times a month, with each quarter Moon plus minor fluctuations twice a day- reflecting the tides. She's sort of predictable in an un¡©predictable kind of way. It may make her fascinating and mysterious, but so doggone aggravating youll feel like whacking her. During one of her blue spells, she may even be afraid she's not a good cook, which is utterly ridiculous, because the typical Cancerian woman can make a French chef look like the mess sergeant you had at boot camp. This woman isn't an automatic can opener or a frozen food fan. She would rather shell her own peas and bake her own biscuits. Her casseroles are sensational, her potatoes are fluffy, her vegetables are crisp and crunchy, and she tops it all off with heavenly strawberry jam. Cancer women are very friendly with their ovens. The kitchen will be her favorite room by far (next to the nursery). She'll fuss over you like a mother hen, and you'll probably love it.

Most men do.

In addition to the obviously unjustified fear about her culinary skill, she may be afraid you don't love her enough. That should be easy for any red-blooded male to remedy. Go ahead and prove it-as often as you like. She'll be beautifully receptive. Once you've turned on the green light, she'll happily recognize the signal, which may remove her feelings of inadequacy, but which creates a new problem. Truthfully, after you've won the Cancerian female, she may be just a little tenacious-like, she'll never let go of you as long as she lives. That's not bad. There are men who starve for such loyalty. You'll never starve for either food or affection when you've been lucky enough to win her kind of love. The loony laugh that accompanies it can be kind of kicks, too. Her rich humor is even warmer and dearer when you think of all the sarcastic sirens with their cynical wit and hypocritical laughter.

It's brutally unfair to toy with the heart of this girl, because shell love, honor, obey and nag you a little with sincere devotion. Why encourage such rare love unless you mean to reciprocate with equal ardor? Remember her tenacity. You may only be flirting lightly, but you'll have a hard time calling the end of the inning. She won't hear the whistle. There's nothing shallow or superficial about the sentiments of a Cancer woman. When she owns a man or a teacup, it's hers forever.

She may not overwhelm your friends with her vivacity and sparkling flattery, but she won't fail to impress you with her charm. July women prefer to save their deepest emotions for people closest to them. After you've dated other girls and compared them to her, you may go running right back to your female crab, and beg her to hang on again. Tightly.

The trickiest aspect in handling her is to keep her from crawling into the always handy, tough Cancerian shell. Her feelings are so sensitive and tender, the slightest unintentional remark can wound her harshly. It's hard to know when she'll suddenly become vulnerable to hidden meanings. You could waltz in some night and say, "Your hair looks gorgeous," and she'll get a tear in her eye. Why? Because you insinuated her hair looked frightful the last time you saw her. Cancer women can be quite touchy. They cry a lot. Always have a fresh handkerchief ready.

Females born under the sign of the crab aren't necessarily stingy, but they have this little habit of saving things. You could say it's a downright compulsion. She'll seldom throw away pieces of string, buttons, jars, cans, husbands, or old dress patterns. Who are you to say she won't find a purpose for those torn theater stubs, faded love letters and used tea bags? Someday in the unpredictable future, she may need the burned-out fuses she keeps in the drawer with those broken Christmas ornaments. Don't ask her how she's going to find a use for two hundred stockings and gloves, long divorced from their mates. She will, she will! This isn't the girl to take kindly to someone who burns a hole in the heirloom bedspread her great-aunt Matilda quilted. Everything has a sentimental value, including canceled checks from 1952 and her old Girl Scout badges. She treasures the things she owns and guards them jealously. That, of course, includes YOU. She's not so much jealous as possessive. There's a shade of difference.

Women born under the fire signs may strain and protest against life's delays and disappointments, but the Cancer girl usually feels nothing can be changed or overcome by getting all stirred up. When things don't go her way, she may shed a few quiet tears alone, but her normal reaction will be to fold her hands serenely and wait patiently for things to right themselves. Patience is one of her loveliest virtues. When she's depressed, however, youll have to find a way to take her out of herself. Try to catch her before she has burrowed too deep. She does have a way of wanting to be babied. The desire to be a little spoiled by loved ones seems to be buried deep in the Cancerian nature. She needs desperately to know you can't live without her, and sometimes shell go to great lengths to arouse your pity and protective instincts, just to be assured she means a lot to you. It's really very little for her to ask, when she gives so much in return. But don't be fooled by her weakness during these episodes. That helpless little baby who seeks your big, strong arms to keep out the cold, cruel world is perfectly able to manage by herself, if she must. In the middle of a quarrel, when your lunar girl looks up at you with her eyes all wet and dewy and frightened, remember that after you leave and are safely around the corner, she's likely to dry her eyes, put a stack of records on the player, and calmly clean out her closets. Of course, you can't rule out the times when her depres¡©sion is real, instead of a typical Cancerian bid for sympathy. Those nights you'd better stay, listen to the music with her, and hold her hand tenderly.

wala lang... nagagandahan ako...

nga pala, nagbago na ako ng number. at una kong tinext ang pinakamamahal ko. :3 syempre namimiss ko nanaman siya. wala namang araw na hindi eh. *bleh*

P.S. I love you baby!

2008-04-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

2008-04-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

"patay na, papatayin pa?"

oo. hindi ko nakikitang pinapasaya kita twing malungkot ka. un lang naman ang hindi ko nakikita eh. alam ko at nararamdaman kong mahal mo ako. hindi kita hinihingan ng kahit na ano. gusto kita at mahal kita sa kung ano ka. hindi mo kelangang iparamdam sakin kasi sa konting hi, sa konting yakap, sa konting alaga at konting pag-aalala, ramdam kong importante ako sayo.

bakit ganun? hindi mo din ba maramdamang improtante ka sakin? hindi mo ba makita? hindi ko rin ba maiparamdam sayo? kung oo lahat un... ako na ang may problema...

hindi lang ikaw ang nangungulila. hindi lang ikaw ang nasasaktan. hindi lang ikaw ang nahihirapan. hindi lang ikaw ang gusto nang mawala.

gusto kong maging masaya tayo. iniintindi ko lahat ng pangyayari. tao lang ako at nagkakamali. strike 21 mo na eka. sana matapos nang lahat ng pangyayari. ayoko nang nag-aaway pa kami.

pang-ilang strike mo na ba eka? hindi ka ba napapagod nang palagi mong sinasaktan si gab? hindi ka ba nagsasawa? kung un lang ang kaya mong gawin sa relasyon niyo... mas mabuti pang tapusin nyo na to. wala kang nadudulot na maganda. palala ka ng palala. hindi mo nanaman iniisip ang mararamdaman ni gab at nagiging selfish ka nanaman. makiramdam ka naman.

i'm so sorry. hindi ko talaga sinasadyang saktan ka. lahat ng nangyayari ay hindi ko naman gusto at gagawin ko lahat para mabago lahat ng iyon. magkaka-ayos tayo tapos ganito nanaman. pinipilit ko nanamang mag-pretend. dinadaan ko sa tawa at pagka-busy pero hindi nagugustuhan ni gab?

hindi ko sinasadyang patayin ka. all the things that are happening now are out my control. ayokong mangyari to.

ok lang ako. pero alam kong i can't fix you anymore. i'm so sorry.

2008-03-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

ayos ah. mukhang araw-araw na kong nakakapagsulat dito sa blog :)

kaninang umaga: mga 8am, anagpunta ako sa school kasi kelangan kong ipasa ung portfolio ko sa science at ibigay ung pinapabigay ng kapatid ko. tumambad sakin ang pinakamamahal ko. kala ko pa naman nagpagupit siya eh hindi naman pala. hinug ko siya ng mahigpit. nangulila kasi talaga ko. basta ang saya-saya nung nakita ko siya. ang gwapo nga naman ng mahal ko ever.

nung dumating mama ko: nakita kaming magka-embrace at un, pero wala naman talagang ibig-sabihin un. talagang nagkukulitan lang kami. fwee. palusot kung baga. kala ko papagalitan kami pero pinagsabihan lang. bakit ba, e mag-bestfriend naman talaga kami eh.

tapos aun. isang mahabang araw to para saken... madami pa kong gagawin. ako pa magbabayad ng plan ni papa. andaming utos. buti nalang busog at maayos na ang tyan ko. hehe. pupunta pa ko sa birthday na movie marathon ni mami mitz. happy 15th birthday mamsie! hay. sana makapunta ka mahal!

2008-03-30T02:15:00.000-07:00

hay. bat hindi ka tumawag ngayon? ha? galit ka ba saken...? JOKE LANG MAHAL :3

narinig ko kasing nag-ring ung phone kaninang umaga. ewan ko lang kung ikaw un. nga pala. makakapunta ako sa monday, 8-11 am. o diba? panalo :3 magkikita tayo!

tag ka! miss you!

nangigigil ako sayo!

2008-03-23T01:19:00.000-07:00

oo na... nanggigigil ako sayo! sana pumasok ka sa monday. miss na miss na kasi kita mahal :3

damdam: Happy easter! sory mahal, ndi ako nakareply kahapon.. wla na dn pla aqng load nun eh. slamat tlga sa oras at effort na bnigay mo saken ah. napasaya mo aq ng sobra. humanda ka bukas sken pag nakapasok ako! miss na miss na kta at nanggigigil aq sau! nd aq bumitaw kgabe! cge. alam kong nag-aaral ka ngaun at gumagawa ng requirements. aral mabuti ah. kc naman ikaw eh. mxado mo aqng pinapamiss! cge. aral muna tau. para sa mga anak nten. i love you mahal! mahal na mahal kita. :3 *hug na mahigpit at kiss na matagal* namimiss q ung lambing mo! :3 *naglalambing* :3 love you!

fwee... namimiss na rin kita. ang sweet no? :p

kasi naman dapat hindi masyadong nagpapagod at hindi nagpapatuyo ng pawis sa likod! basketbol, basketbol, basketbol pa kasi eh. hayaan mo, aalagaan kita :3

sana palaging masaya

2008-03-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

hindi ka ba natutuwa sa tin kapag masaya tayo? kapag makulit tayo? kapag puro tawanan? hindi ka ba masaya kapag masaya tayo?

alam mo... hindi na kita malambing. hindi na kasi umuubra ung pagpapasaya ko sayo kaya nasasabi kong mas nakikita kong maayos ka sa mga kaibigan mo. wag mo naman akong sisihin... sinasabi ko lan kung anong nakikita at nararamdaman ko.

wag ka namang magtampo o magalit sakin... sinasabi ko lang ung totoo.

mahal na mahal kita. ayokong bumitaw at hindi ako bibitaw kahit kailan.

sana ikaw rin ganoon

:)

2008-01-15T23:21:00.000-08:00

OK NANG TALAGA!

MAAYOS NA!

P.S. thank you po papa God!

...

2008-01-15T06:35:00.000-08:00

kung ayaw mo na sakin... wala akong magagawa... feel free... :'(

mahal na mahal kita

2008-01-15T06:19:00.000-08:00

:'(

kung HINDI KA SIGURADO SA NARARAMDAMAN ko, at GALIT KA NA SAKIN NGAYON... ok lang...

hindi ako nagrereklamo sau. sinagot ko lahat ng tanong mo para malinaw... bakit malungkot ka parin nun?

i dumped him

hindi ba sapat ung mga sinasabi ko sau...? bat parang hindi ka naniniwala...

ganun ba ko kasamang tao at sinusumpa ako ng mga mahal ko sa buhay...?

sabihin mo lang kung oo, tatanggapin ko naman eh. hindi ko naman ipagpipilitan ung sarili ko sau eh.

basta ang alam ko... MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA :'(

nakakamiss lang talaga :(

2008-01-13T03:21:00.000-08:00

nalungkot lang talaga ako ng sobra...
bigla kasi akong nasanay ng kausap ka gabi-gabi...
parang di ko alam ung gagawin ko eh...
alam mu un, ung miss na miss na kita pero wala akong magawa...
talagang wala lang akong masabi sau nun dahil sa sobrang lungkot ko...
pero HINDI MAWAWALA UNG PAGMAMAHAL ko sau...
kaya lang ako nagkaganun kasi naisip ko na baka masira ung relationship naten... walang communication... di ka na pumupunta pag lunch...
HINDI KO TALAGA ALAM UNG MANYAYARI SA BUHAY KO PAG WALA KA...
hindi ko kaya... MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA...
sau ko lang naramdaman lahat ng to... wala dun sa nauna...SAYO LANG TALAGA...

sorry kung napaka-childish ko. masyado akong naging spoiled. masyado akong naging selfish, tinolerate naman ng utak ko...
NARARAMDAMAN KO NA NGAYON LAHAT NG NARARAMDAMAN MO PAG KASAMA KO SI LARA TAS NABABALEWALA KA :(
sobrang sakit... mas masakit pa sa sarili nating tampuhan...

kea sorry talaga. i promise i'll improve my personality. i'll be more understanding, especially regarding the situations... i won't be juvenile anymore...

don't ever leave me... :(

:)

2007-12-25T23:54:00.000-08:00

maligayang pasko at manigong bagong taon!

andito kami sa computer shop...wala lang, nagda-download ng kanta :) miss ko na SIYA. siyempre halos lahat miss ko na. pero me nangingibabaw talaga! buti nalang magkausap kami nung christmas eve. ang cute talaga niya pag natutulugan niya ko.

mga bagong bonggang computers

2007-12-09T16:52:00.000-08:00

wow. me mga computers sa lib at andito ko ngaun... nagcocomputer. kaso lang... natatae kasi hindi naman puwedeng mag-friendster, multiply, chorba! kea ayan... blogger nalang. matagal-tahal na din akong hindi nakakapag-update ehh. basta basta basta! ang chorba chorba!

dapat nagri-research kami for PA ngaun. next thursday na kasi ung defend chorba namin. hmmm. e masquerade party kami. so kelangan naka formal attire kami. sus maryosep! HINDI AKO NAGBIBISTIDA!

haaay. nakakatamad. kahit nasa school ako, namimiss ko padin ung computer namin sa bahay. hehe. pati si anoooo... *bleh*

sige, titibag na ko! adieu! mwah!

kaya ko pa ba?

2007-10-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

kaya ko pa ba?

tangina naman o!

hindi mo ba alam na nasasaktan din ako? na lahat ng sinasabi mo, tagos dito. hindi ko maintindihan. sabi mo sabihin ko sayo nararamdaman ko, ayan sinasabi ko. SINASABI KO LANG UNG TOTOO! at higit sa lahat, HINDI KO MATANGGAP NA KAHIT KAILAN, hindi mo inisip na mahal kita kahit kailan.

sad peys...

2007-10-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

mmm. sad nga. kasi ilang araw nanaman kami hindi magkakausap. grabehan kasi tong sembreak eh. naiinis na ko. tae talaga poreber.

hmmm...

2007-10-25T02:10:00.000-07:00

la lang. wala akong magawa eh... eto, nagsusulat sa blog at sana balang araw, matapos na ung computer namin. nasa computer shop kasi ako... hmmm. wala kong magawa. sarap katext ng katext ko. un lang...

:)

how do i breathe without you here by my side?

2007-10-17T23:54:00.001-07:00

how do i breathe without you here by my side?

sembreak na. malungkot syempre. kasi di ko na siya makikita. hindi enough ang boses at text messages. sobrang nakakapangulila. tapos me samting pa na nangyari... tagos-tagusan eh.

mmm.kasalukuyan siyang nasa camping ngayon. mamaya pa uwian eh. di ko lam kung makakatawag pa siya. mejo malabo ata...

nung october 16 talaga, super saya. kasi magdamag ko siya kasama. buti nalang nga nagkasama kami nun eh. kundi, lugmok ako ngayon.

basta...

atik laham <3

october na!

2007-10-06T22:08:00.001-07:00

pfft! october na... dumaan na october 4. tas pagdating ng 15 and 16 periodic na. ano kaya ung pa-epek na "dance chorva" ng KA? sembreak na din. may mamimiss nanaman akooo. ung overnight di pa namin napaplano.

sabi ko ke daddy [percy], dun nalang sa haus nila sa marikina. e ayaw pumayag. edi tinanong ko kung saan at sabi ko kelangan nya mag-suggest since ayaw niya sa bahay nila [hehe]. sabi ba naman nya ke gab daw?! wtf! ewan. masyado syang tuliro dahil ke mommy. ang mysterious kasi pero inamin nadin nya. di nga lang namin kilala. duhnners!

yay nag-tag si GAB! guest pala ah. c: tatawa talaga ko. malapit nanaman monday! makikita ko nanaman sya. kilig uberload! basta basta basta!

un lang. la na ko masabi eh.

P.S. mag-tag ka uli. namimiss kita ehhhh. <3

duhnners...ba't ba ko nagkasakit?!

2007-09-26T23:07:00.000-07:00

pfft. ba't ba kasi ako nagkasakit?! puwede namang sa sembreak nalang. ngayon pa e may pasok...imagine, thursday?! so malamang madami akong namiss na sabjek at pati narin isang tao jan ü

answeet talaga nun. syempre ngaung mga panahong to sya nasa-isip ko kahit maysakit ako. isa pa pala, ung pag-inom ng gamot. hala...malapit na pala october quatro. basta...

ba't kaya ganun? ang deep/malalim/malala/watebor?! nevertheless, happy naman palagi

sige, papalit ako layout.

P.S. dearest Papa God, sana gumaling na ko ü

natripan

2007-08-27T00:14:00.000-07:00

hi gab!

nga pala, asa internet shop ako ngayon...kasama si aly. hehe. wala kong masabe. ala lang...naisipang mag-update.

ui, sayang ang aga mu umalis! ü

it's the start of something new! ü

2007-07-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

today is wednesday, july 10, 2007. i dunno what's so important about this damn [oh no!] day...

i started my day with feeling bad auras everywhere. i woke up late and had a nightmare. i even quarelled with my sister. actually, i enjoyed it. hehe.

ilang beses ko nakita si g**. ang gwapo talaga niya. *heart*

eto. dito lalabas ang pagka-maldita ko. kasi nawala ung book naming apat eh. kung sino mang walang magawang tao ang kumuha nun, puwede ibalik mo? kasi di naman sau un eh. wag mong susubukan ang tropa namin.

tapos, i HATE her now. for her darn selfishness. maldita. walang kwenta. we can actually do BETTER without her! hindi siya kawalan at isa-isa nang tumatalikod ang mga kaibigan niya sa kanya. that is, kung kaibigan mo pa nga sila. pinaplastic ka na.

siraan ba naman ako. kaibigan at bestfriend lang niya ko kung me kailangan siya tulad nung sa 7 candles. wow. great.

she always compares herself to someone who is soooooo not her. ba't mo pinipigilang makipag-kaibigan sila sa "bestfriend mo?" may karapatan di naman siyang makilala mga tao sa paligid niya ah. at hello girl, sino ka para pigilan siya? bakit nga ba? kasi NATATAKOT KANG MAWALAN NG KASAMA? MAWALANG NG KAIBIGAN? akala ko ba matapang ka? pathetic! dahil ba alam mong sumusobra na yang attitude problem mo?

kaya girl, i tell you this, hindi ka kagandahan kung feel mo na nagkakandarapa sau ang mga boys. you're just so...malandi.

dati, sinabi mo yan sa kaibigan natin. look at her now...may boyfriend. sinabi mo rin sa kin yan in a backstabber way at sa friendster blog pa. tingnan mo naman, me bf din...eh ikaw? san umabot yang kalandian mo? you reson out na bata pa kayo? e sa dami ng nilandi mong boys, feel mo nagkagusto sila sau? sumasakay lang ang boys sa kakerengkengan na ipinapakita ng mga girls...ganyan ang mga lalaki!

cry if you like. akala ko ba matapang ka? patuloy na tumatayo kahit PINAPABAGSAK?ba't di mo isa-isang harapin ung mga siniraan mong tao? including me. wag ung nagpaparinig ka lang. sabihin mo in our faces para lalong lumaki ung away. bigla akong nadamay dahil jan sa pangba-backstab mo. sino ka? just a tiny not-so-important girlwho gets in OUR WAY!

siniraan mo ko? mas malakas ako gumanti. backstab din. ü

kung binabasa mo to at tinatamaan ka...ikaw tinutukoy ko. masakit bang nababasa mo pa to sa blog ng "ex-bestfriend" mo? mag UPISSCA ka, baka maliwanagan ka ng onti. ang lalaking tao ng mga binabangga mo. tsk. good luck girl.

the maldita side of me. ü

2007-07-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

maglabas ng sama ng loob bago ang UAAP Season 70

amplastik mo! nung umpisa, super bait mo sameng mga newbies. ngayon, lumabas ang tunay mong kulay. sino ka para yabangan kami ng ganyan? sino ka para maliitin kami sa konting pagkakamaling nagagawa namin? ambantot mo, baklita ka pa! hindi purket matalino ka, pwede mo na kaming ganyan-ganyanin. nagmamarunong ka, eh AMBAKLA mo naman! naglilider-lideran ka, di ka naman c******. di mo lang kasi matanggap na hindi ka binoboto ng mga ka-team mates mo dahil jan sa laki ng ulo mo!

humanda ka! pag-alis nyo dito... maipapakita na namin ang "GALING" na sinasabi namin. wala nang magyayabang samen. wala nang magpaparamdam na maliit kami. kasi wala ka na! sino bang may gusto na nandito ka?

kuna alam mo lang, andame nang me galit sau. kahit sa sarili mong batch! maraming sinsabing masama kapag nakatalikod ka. pinakikisamahan ka lang namin. p*t@** i*@ mo!

sige lang. ipakita mo yang kagalingang ipinagmamalaki mo. sisiraan ka pa namin kapag wala ka na sa team nato.

watta day

2007-07-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

swell. antagal kong hindi nagpost. kelan pa ba yun? lumipas na ang birthday ni ate denise, birthday ko...ngayon birthday ni lara.

ewan ko lang talaga ahh. talagang mejo minamalas ako ngayon. tae. nawala kasi baunan ko at halos mangiyak-ngiyak ako sa training kanina. buti na nga lang sa me court kami pumalo at madilim. tae kasi tong si gino, hindi ako tinulungan maghanap ehh. nakakainis. napagalitan tuloy ako ng nanay ko.

basta ngayon. masaya ako pagdating sa lablayp. apat lang pinagsabihan ko. kaya umasa kayong hindi yun kakalat. hehe. ang galing nga kanina. andun siya kela aling norms, kami naman dun sa ginagamit na tungtungan pag pictorial. aun, abot-tingin. watta new word. panibagong dagdag sa bokabularyo. at impernes, ilang bese kami nagpapansinan.

nung uwian nga grabe eh. kala niya susundan namin siya ni a**. kasama kasi niya si n***...papunta silang gym for training. kami, papuntang pansol para magtanong kung me abeylabol na cobra. taeng yan, lingon ba naman ng lingon! hanep pare! hehe. niloko ko nga eh. ung parang ginawa ni sir robert ke carl cruz. mga firefly jan! grabe. katuwa ampotek.

labyu talaga!

swell, me training bukas ng 3-5pm. makakapunta kea ako?

sunday, july 8, ateneo gym... UP vs FEU watch out for the UP Pep Squad: Dancers and Tamboleros! woooooh! <3

yay

2007-06-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

salamat. nalipat ko ung computer namin sa kabila. at me internet connection na din. hehe. astig. wala lang.

malapit na bday ko!

continue ko nalang mamaya. ü

2007-06-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

haha. sorry. mali ung layout.

ikaw na sana

2007-06-16T05:37:00.000-07:00

June 16, 2007

missing you

bagong layout. perfect for me. wow. unti-unti na ata siyang bumibitaw. unti-unti na ata siyang nawawalan ng pag-asa. bakit?

nagdadalawang isip daw siya. baka daw biglang mag-iba ung mahalin ko. nasasaktan ako.

it's hurting...so much. i didn't mean to love someone the second time around. i didn't mean to. i found you and i learned to love again. how crapping great!

one thing's for sure: i love you

sana nga lang, mapadpad ka sa friendster account ko. pindutin mo ung may link dito sa blog tas basahin mo to...

asan ka na nga ba? ;
9:00 pm

tatanda na ko...

2007-06-15T03:56:00.003-07:00

di ko lam. kasalukuyan akong nagre-research. firefly nga pala ako. wala lang...nakuha ko kasi pinapangarap kong section pero di ko naman klasmeyt si damdam. bat ganun? gel, answerte mo...

sige. mamaya, papalitan ko na layout nito. papansin eh. gusto ko mas girly. wala nang lamat puso ko. wala nang sugat. buo na ulit... dahil syo. dahil sayo. pfft. andrama.

basta. bagong buhay...umaasenso ako ngayon. balanced na. di tulad ng dati. andameng umeentra.

malapit na bertdey namin nila ate denise, lara, bea, alud, deng, roi, jp... basta mga july babies...mga cancerian. ü

o sige. layout....

2007-05-27T01:07:00.000-07:00

malapit na maubos internet card ko. sabi 1 hr and chuchu mins. nalang daw kaya eto ako, lulubus-lubusin ang pag-post sa blog Ü. hay nako...di na ko pinapayagang magtraining ng nanay ko kasi nga dahil dun sa pagkakasakit ko. di bale noh, basta! july 1 pa naman unang competition ehh.

sa totoo lang, wala nanaman akong makwento. ahm. di ko makita celpon ko at di ko alam kung natadtad nanaman ako ng messages ni ate kaye. hehe. pati nung iba pa naming ka-clan. pero feel ko mga walang load mga tao ngayon!

lapit na enrollment at pasukan! ano kaya section ko? yo bio! interest electives ko nga pala eh film app tsaka pdlt. balita ko maganda daw pdlt ahh. pero malay ba natin. haha. buti nalang kasama ko na kagad sila aly. Ü

next tambayan: Library! yo serr Dipol! wassup?

hehe Ü sabi senyo wala ko magawa. binibilang ko nalang mga di ko pa ngiging klasmeyt. haha!

ngaun lang nag-update...

2007-05-25T06:37:00.000-07:00

kamusta naman ito? ngayon lang uli nag-blog. march pa last entry ko, anong buwan na ngayon? malapit na uli magpasukan! pahirap nanaman pero di bale, me bio naman. hehe. dapat papalitan ko na tong blog na to pero parang namimiss ko ata. e kasi naman di ko maayos-ayos ung css sa chocolate is love. sana lang tumino na ako! haha!

uy! yay!wala na kong sakit! Ü pero...kapalit naman ng pag-inom ko ng antibiotic every eight hours. nakooo! 7 days ko ata un gagawin. sinasabi ko na nga ba! wag niyo kong papainumin ng gamot dahil idudura ko sa mukha niyo! kasalukuyan nang malapit mag 10:00 pm. iinom nanaman ako ng gamot. tapos manonood ng pbb. ang cute ni bodie no?

bukas pala aalis kami! haha! batangas sa wakas! muntikan na kong hindi pasamahin dahil nga me sakit ako. awa ng papa God, gumaling na ko pero ung isa ko namang kapatid mejo me sinat. o baka naman love sicck lang? ashu! charing!

di ko talaga alam kung ba't ako sinipag ngayon. baka kasi wala lang ako load. Ü

mga katext ko nga pala na nagpaganda ng linggo ko kahit grabeng inom ng gamot: ate denne, percy, cj Ü (chad, di ikaw to!), ate kalaii, ate sam, ate kaye, euri, aly, gab (kahit smart ka at namumulubi na ko.) SALAMAT!

sa nagpaganda ng friendster ko, sobrang credits kay: dishi bentulan...pwede ding denise, o kaye denne. dami pangalan!

:) sabog!

2007-03-03T16:48:00.000-08:00

waha... ang tagal din bago ako nag-blog ulet... tinatamad kxe talaga ako... pramis... waha... me celpon ulet akooooo :)) waha... bisitahin nyo naman blog ko at magcomment kau kahit hindi ako nagpo-post. waha. wala, trip trip lang talaga... mejo kalog ako ngaun ehh

wahhhh! sana makapasa ako sa drums!!!

ay nakooo... guys, ano nga palang homework? joke lang. ala talaga akong magawa ehh.

nga pala... ang saya ng career field trip... ampogi ni gab! wahahaha!!!!

arrgh! sige, un lang muna

3rd quarter periodic test

2007-01-23T23:40:00.000-08:00

hello. ahh. matagal-tagal ding hindi ako nakapag-post ah. hmmm. perio na! dinudugo na rin ang mga utak namin sa kaka-aral sa math at sa ibang subjects. sa totoo lang, social tsaka math talaga ung mga kelangang aralin. grabe...

kahapon nga pala 2 ST nagalit sa min. sa english, si sir brian at sa math, si sir aaron. sino ba namang hindi maiinis sa mga pinag-gagawa ng mga klasmeyt ko...! sa english, gusto nang lumabas nung mga tao. panay sabing "sir! lunch na!" eh nagrereview nga para sa perio! kala niyo madali lang english ahh! tingnan natin sa thursday. first exam pa naman! sige lang! haha! sa math naman, ang kulit kasi nung mga tao sa harap ehh. peace tayo guys! hayy! ewan ko ba... :( yan tuloy natatakot na silang magtanong! hehe.

tsk! PERIO na!!! sana naman mataas grades ko ngayong 3rd quarter. asar!!! ang baba kasi nung 1st and 2nd quarters ko ehh. bawi ako ngayon tsaka sa 4th. :)

God bless sa lahat ng UPIS students. and goog lucks sa periodic test! Y

Bawal ang Plastic Dito!

2007-01-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

wow! boypren ko oh.... taken na siya! grabe... ang pogi! :) kelan ko kaya to makikita ng personal?

i Y you jeong hoon!

tae yan! kakatapos ng symposium. takte talaga si sir brian! ahhh! ayoko na ngang mag-recite! tawagin ba naman ako at piliting magsalita sa may stage at ikuwento ang aming "experience" sa mall...? nakakahiya kaya! at todo pilitan pa ahh! grr!

sir brian!!!

sigh. yung guest nga pala namin ay galing sa ateneo pero graduate ng political science at fine arts sa u.p. diliman. astig ung pilot project [un ba un?] na yun! haha. wala lang. mejo boring sa totoo lang.

ahh. wag na nga yan! si kim jeong hoon nalang! i Y you JEONG HOON!

Tomorrow is Wednesday

2007-01-16T05:22:00.000-08:00

i won't use capitals

tomorrow is wednesday. yeah, a wednesday and we have this symposium about plastic use [i think] together with grade 9. we have to wear the complete uniform... duh! i mean, why do we have to? we could just wear shirt and jeans and rubber shoes. oh! and our uniform could be great if it was janelle's [princess hours] uniform. a lot better!

oh well... papel!

but of course i'll go there. required! yeah, required! blah blah blah blah, whatever they say!

there is also this project in filipino that doesn't look like a project, but a homework [actually, people can even do that as a seatwork]. students in our section [namely? bleh!] will obviously do that in the morning. they love Y cramming very much! and a homework in math about angles [yeah, engles]. science this school year is such a boring subject! not that it really is boring, but the way the teacher teaches and also the teacher. [shush!]

U by the way... kim jeong hoon of princess hours is really gorgeous! he's yul or troy there. Y

hmmm... uh... i ran out of things to say now... bye

About Keanu Reeves and other ka-chorvahan

2007-01-03T01:30:00.000-08:00

[this is a disappointing entry for my big time crush, Keanu Reeves... asar talaga!]

nice one! it's been ages since i updated this blog of mine. panibagong layout nanaman! nga pala, sorry if you can't read the previous entries. nakakatamad magpalit ng color ng text eh. :) hehe. anyway... nag Christmas kami sa Fairview dun sa bahay namin. At dun ko rin napagtanto na isang kahanga-hangang lalaki... ay gay pala si Keanu Reeves! grabe! even if he's gay, he's still awesome :)!

eto mga movies niya na napanood ko na:
1. Constantine
2. A Walk in the Clouds
3. Speed
4. The Matrix
5. Matrix Reloaded

[di ko pa napapanood Matrix Revolution]

sana mabili ko na yung cd na the Lake House. si Sandra Bullock partner niya dun. yep. kala niyo gay siya noh! sa the matrix reloaded nga, grabe siya kay Carrie Ann Moss dun.wooh. andaming kissing scenes. hay. kabaklaan... gay marriage nga eh. noong 2003 ata kayCumming? sino ba un? basta ung Nightcrawler sa X-Men 2. :) tapos nakasulat pa nga dun na pati si Tom Cruise ay baklush! OMG! mamamatay talaga ako dito sa mga nalalaman ko. kung tutuusin nga huling huli na ako sa balita ehh. crap.

crap crap crap. bakit ba sa lahat ng magiging big time crush ko sa hollywood si Keanu Reeves pa... at bading pa??? ano ba? hmm. korean actors na nga lang katulad ni Kwon Sang Woo [Cholo; Stairway to Heaven] o kaya si Kim Jong Hoon [Prince Troy; Princess Hours]? ano ha? gwapo yung mga yun. ahh! si Kim Jong Hoon pala pogi [mukhang aso :P]. ang cute kasi ehh. mas bagay sila ni Janelle. Troy and Janelle tapos si Gian and Monique [tama ba spelling?] mas click. :D

nood kayo ng Princess Hours ahh :)

sa A Rosy Life naman... ang cute kasi tingnan nila Doggie Boy [o Bone?] tsaka ni Kelly. bagay sila... as in. silang dalawa nga lang inaabangan ko dun ehh. haha. ay nakooo. mamamatay na ba si Betsy? haha. wala lang. natritripan.

nood din kayo ng A Rosy Life ahh. :)

Christmas Party 12/15/06

2006-12-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

kahapon christmas party ng 7-10... 10:00 am ung start but i came at around 8 in the morning. ewan ko ba... kala ko nga late na ako eh. pagdating ko sa tapat ng music room nakita sila deng, krizza and percy palang mga tao. :D hehe. ang late na nga namin nag-umpisa ehh... tagal kc dumating ni Sir :P... i was so hungry because i only drank milk in the morning... no bread or anything, and almost 2 hours pa ako naghintay dun... hehe.

in-invite namin si Sir Brian na sabi ay manonood pa ng Oblation Run. Haha!

nung kainan na, uhaw na uhaw kami ksi wala kaming plastic cups... kaya bumili si patter tsaka nanghingi nalang kami sa ibang section... thank you earth for the plastic cups! galing ba senyo un? kung kanino man un galing thank you ng marami!

tapos nag-picture picture ulet... ako na naman photographer nila bambi :D kinakarir ko eh. then, nanood kami ng music video ni michael v. na puro niloko ung kanta. grabe tawa kami ng tawa. lalo na ung sa part na "hindi ako, di ako bakla!"... may pinapatamaan kasi sila gab dun ehh :D

when my classmates came, i gave my gifts for them... i also received :D... buti naman! hehe.

from:
luis - panda na stuff toy
amae - baboy na stuff toy and ung parang sinasabit sa pinto na may drawing ng baboy
euricah - heart na pillow
mara - figurine na baboy
leni - maliit na scrapbook
chadwick - shades
lara - pigtails
gel - 2007 planner
jona - ponytail
patter - letter
seanne - keychain na drawbag
gon - laruan na Star Battle ung name

hehe. thank you sa mga taong nagbigay ng gift sa akin. ung sa mga hindi ko nabigyan ng gift... next year na lang :D

gift nga pala ni Sir Brian sa 7-Jupiter - pinanalo kami sa Pastores... malaking hirap din ang pagpapatahimik sa jupiter ahh :D

Pahabol na Pics from Day 2+ Pastores Awards + Peryups Day 4 + Not Watching Rock-ed Concert

2006-12-14T03:56:00.000-08:00

konting pics lang naman nung Peryups Day 2 sa second floor ng new building sa UPIS. dahil sa kaa-antay ng turn namin for practice sa music room... nagpicture-picture muna kami. pasimuno si bambi! ay naku! pag kasama mo yan palaging pictures ang inaatupag. [according to gel laxa... special mention ka!] ang vain di ba? haha. si ysabel ung naka purple na baby tee... bambi ung naka yellow na shirt... ako ung naka-white... si deng ung naka black na naka-ponytail at si mackie ung naka-black na naka lugay ung buhok! often si mackie ung nagpi-picture kaya isa lang ung pic na kasama siya. nung sila ysabel, deng and bambi palang... ako ung photographer nila. hindi ko na sinama ung pics nila kasi wala naman ako dun eh. at saka phone ni bambi tong gamit namin. sinubmit lang niya tong pics sa friendster account ko.

habang nagpi-picture kami dito ung mga tao sa likod especially the boys ay naglalaro... ung kabit-kabit sila tapos ung girls sasampa sa likod nila tapos dun lang sila sa likod ng mga boys. hay! nakaka-loka. dun naman sa gilid... sina karina, jona, gel at elise ay nagmu-mukmok dahil jan sa pastores na yan! hehe. buti nalang first prize daw kami! crap!

hindi nga ako makapaniwala eh! whoaaayiiieeep na performance yan! hehe. :D masaya lang talaga... balita ko pati dragonfly o buterfly [kahit ano!] at calcium, first place din. sa mga naghirap at nagpractice ng puspusan para sa Pastores... I salute you guys! Congratulations! ang galing nating lahat!

credit to bambi! :D

sorry ah. ang pangit nung porma ng pics!

day 4 ng UPIS Week... 8-12 am nag-bike sila... ang onti nga lang namin na natira sa HS... lahat sila umikot sa UP... kasi naman eh... bakit ba hindi ako marunong mag-bike! pinagsisisihan ko na talaga kung bakit hindi ako natuto mag-bike... inggit na inggit ako nung pinapanood ko sila... ung mga walang helmet kasi nasa school lang. tae yan. new year's resolution ko: mag-aaral ako mag-bike! by january marunong na ako... kaso san naman ako manghihiram ng bisikleta??? bahala na! basta!

waaah! hindi ako naka-nood ng Rock-ed. duh. di bale na! watevah! kaso sayang ung opportunity. minsan na nga lang ma-isponsor ng ABS-CBN ang UPIS, hindi pa ako naka-attend. there's always a next year diba? malay mo... GMA na! sila pa gagawa ng ticket at hindi magba-back-out the last minute... :D hehe. Ykapuso parin ako! hehe. anyway... masaya naman ang naging UPIS fair. hindi nga lang bongga at maingay. :D sige. dun lang muna. :D

Pastores: A Christmas Carol + Black Nail Polish

2006-12-13T05:09:00.000-08:00

at last again! natapos na rin ang paghihirap ng creative team ng jupiter... Karina, Jona and Elise. Wooh! with matching walkout walkout pa kayo ah... nice one! halur! syempre kahit wala sila hindi puwedeng hindi kami mag-rehearse noh! Duh. oh well... ang cute nung sa isang section sa grade 9... meron silang butterflies (butterflies ba un?) na pink ung suot with matching furry headband! ang cute talaga!

Nagpa-nail polish muna ako ke Mackie ng black... este dark green pala.. nakaka-loko nga eh. kala mo black pero pag manipis halatang green na siya. :D

Pagdating sa AS Steps hindi kami makapag-umpisa kasi umaambon... tapos titigil... aambon... titigil... delayed tuloy ang Pastores ng 1 hour... bakit pa kasi merong condensation, evaporation at iba pang process para makagawa ng rain... itong ulan namang to hiondi marunong makisama... parang ung sa streetdance! tuloy... pinapasok kami ni Sir Reyes para matuloy na ung program. sobrang init naman sa loob... halos lusawin kami, grabe! feeling namin mamatay na kami... pero kahit na ganon, todo parin ang practice namin ni Jona sa pagtugtog ng flute. ayaw kaya naming magkalat!

ok... ung mga nagperform na naka-gown ung nasa stage... after 2 or 3 songs mercury na... then jupiter!

hay! the presentation of 7-jupiter turned out well. hindi kami nagkalat kasi may kodigo kami na nasa likod ng classmates namin sa harapan... not well explained right? intindihin nyo nalang. hehe. grabe! nanginginig ako dun habang nagfu-flute! as in. hindi ko talaga ma-steady ung paa ko pati ulo ko... whoo! salamat at tapos na!

successful naman ang pastores! hay!

Furry Headband with Butterflies attached to it + new nail polish

2006-12-09T23:34:00.000-08:00

The headband i bought is super cute! :D Yeah. hehe. it's color orange... i was supposed to go for the yellow one since it's one of my favorite colors now... but it's spring is a bit deformed. oh well... hehe. it really is cute!

Also... i have a new nail polish which i bought in SC for Php 31.50. it's color is Platinum Special... :D last thursday i had the color black. my classmates were kinda sarcastic about my nails. they were like, "erika? ikaw ba yan? bakit black?" then i said, "nagrerebelde ako eh" (sabay tawa!) hehe. that's true!

there were times that i go for the gothic styles but then it suddenly changes to kikay styles! or just the simple one, and that's most of the time... :P

You Go For Brains!

You want a guy with a big... brain.And of course it would be nice if he were a total hottie, but you're not counting on it.What's on the inside is what counts for you. (Besides, you can always change the outside later!)

Do You Go For Brains or Body?

that one above is true!

UPIS Week!

2006-12-09T05:45:00.001-08:00

Next week na ang UPIS Week! Wooh! Excited na kami... and at the same time kinakabahan! Ang dami kasing competitions eh!

Sana manalo ang batch 2010! Go owten! Hirap na hirap kami sa pagpapractice kaya dapat manalo!!! I-todo niyo ang pagsayaw!

Goodluck guys!

Changed!

2006-12-02T22:56:00.000-08:00

Everything has changed now dude... Don't ask why... Evertything has changed...

Blog and the Second Semester

2006-11-08T04:14:00.000-08:00

First of all, I'll talk about my blog. Haha. Two friends already gave comments to it. Hehe. They think it's cute and simple. Wow. Actually, I've decided not to chance the layout.

Thanks April for telling me where to find layouts. :P

Now, the second sem classes. Crap! My grades are getting lower. Anyway, I'll try my best to improve my grades. I have seen my wonderful classmates again. And Luis. Oh well. This is the beginning of the sem and we're already getting busy as bees. Actually, no problem with it. My classmates are slowly getting less noisy... Good for me, our adviser won't blame me for not hushing my babies. That is one reason why I don't like to be the president. So much work to do.

Thanks for reading guys. Comments are highly appreciated.

*muahuggs*

Desperate

2006-11-04T04:23:00.000-08:00

Crap... I'm desperate. I want to have a nice layout. My blog is super duper, as in, grabe, talaga, promise... SIMPLE. Anyway... it's simple and clean. Nice. But I still want my LAYOUT!

Lola's Operation

2006-11-03T23:26:00.000-08:00

Ah...Actually, I don't know what to write in here. I'm not prepared.

Oh well... we just cam from Rizal. Yeah. Then, after resting a bit here in our house... we went to the Kidney Institute to schedule my Lola's operation. I'm a bit worried to tell the truth. Hey, who wouldn't be worried if their family member goes in an operation. You can't predict what the results will be... but I hope and pray that it will go fine. Sigh.

Thanks for reading.

*muahuggs*

Halloween... BOO!

2006-10-31T20:58:00.000-08:00

It's Halloween already! Nothing... just saying Happy Halloween and BOO to You!

Thanks for reading!

*muahuggs*